♥The Important Stuff♥

Sunday, 3 August 2014

Take a Break

Some of you may wonder where I have been. Others just wonder who the hell I am. The latter I cannot help with, the former I will try now to explain as fully as I can.

Approximately a year ago, give or take a few months, I found myself growing despondant towards second life. I had closed Trubble, my store of nearly five years, and created Nzuri. The new store never truely worked out what it was. I found myself creating intermittently and without any purpose. I didn't care for marketing and couldn't find it within myself to give the brand any real push.

Gradually I found myself spending most of my time on an alt breeding and auctioning fennux. That was fun, but costly, and it soon became obvious that I didn't want to keep pushing money into SL just because I felt that I had to stay. In my mind I had given so much time and money to my various projects that I couldn't just drop it all and leave. Yet, I wasn't happy.

I was lonely most of all. I had inadvertently folded myself into the world of SL fashion, which I loved. The problem was that most of my friends were designers or bloggers who were understandably busy with their own businesses and projects. I found myself, for months, standing in my skybox alone with nobody even chatting in IM. I tried to initiate conversations at first but I struggled to chat to new people, and most of those I knew were busy. It became a viscious circle.

Then, one night in June 2013, I decided to do something new. I grabbed a controller and joined my RL partner on his Xbox. Before I knew it I had my own console and we were soon both promoted to leadership of a 3000+ member gaming community.
I didn't look back or log back in.

In the past year I have learned a lot about me. I can communicate. I spent time dealing with people daily. I organised some big tournaments and events alongside other communities. Eventually we broke off and started a new community from scratch. We built it up and after a few months left it in very capable hands, opting instead to just play the games.

It was slow, but I have found myself beginning to miss SL and the opportunities it gave me. So I am coming back. This time part time, and this time I am going to find what makes me happy, not what I feel is expected.

For now I will not be designing. I might blog if I feel like it. I WILL be socialising, making contacts and friends and having fun. I am also considering running my own event. Not for the money, but just for the fun of doing it. If I can organise 60 young gamers into teams and have them win a tournament against a competitive clan who have a track record of being unbeatable, or keep over 300 members organised into brigades without arguments kicking off daily... I am sure I can organise a fun event filled with designers who want it to succeed as much as I do.

Of course, this is all for the future. Things will take time. For now, if you find yourself standing around bored.... Or have room for a little one to come join in your fun. Hit me up!!

Tracy rubble

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